Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Jan at Jan Mader Ignite to Write
With the medication I have been taking I haven't felt different. It is almost like no change. But I have noticed that I am changing. I don't know how but it is working and it doesn't make me feel a thing. I've told my dad about it and he understands. Well, I am going to see my therapist soon. My nana sees a change in me. I didn't know I had changed until a lot of people told me there is a change in my attitude and well everything.
Have you ever acted different but didn't feel a change?
Well, I used to be mean if we weren't winning a soccer game, but now I hold it in and keep it in. Not only does that make me have good sportsmanship it also makes me a better player.
Have you ever improved your actions?
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Last night I saw a frog and touched it! Well, i wasn't going to pick it up! So instead I grabbed a bucket and threw the bucket write over the frog and screamed (ewe) my papaw came out and said,"you found it" because he had told me about it! I said "yeah, but I don't wanna touch it, so where is a lid? Because I wanted to keep it, but not pet it." So he said ,"No, it is suppose to live free!" So much for that. But any way, it had scaly skin and it was bumpy and fat. It was pretty small for a frog but also kinda an average size. So my papaw had to tell me not to let it pee on me or it will give me warts! I screamed again (ewe) and I ran inside and told my grandma all about it and she said she hates frogs! But Nana likes frogs! Have you ever seen a frog or touched one?
I know just enough about psychology and psychiatry to know that it is not a concrete science. There is no blood test to determine bi-polar. It is a skill of guessing. It turns out that Ali's doctor has not firmly diagnosed her as bi-polar; It is a possibility. They are still trying to determine exactly what it is that controls Ali's personality. The doctor now thinks she has Oppositional Defiance Disorder. To put it into layman's terms: Ali is a darling child as long as there are no requests, rules or boundaries.
To some, Ali might appear as a spoiled brat that can't take no for an answer. To those of us that know her, we know it is much deeper. She is a bright, loving, gentle person that looses herself to a force that takes over in the blink of an eye.
For example, the other day she texted me from the woods on Papaw's phone. I called her and told her to not text because (believe it or not) Papaw does not having texting! Ali replied, "Oh, OK." That was a miracle! The old 'Lexi' (her former self) would have immediately taken that statement as an attack, scolding her instead of simply informing her. She would have reacted with defensive anger. No matter if you told her, "You're not in trouble. I'm just letting you know...", it made no difference. It was a reaction she had no control over. If she wanted something in the store and you said no, her whole world came crashing down. A trip to WalMart might induce three or four of these episodes. Every time she was told to brush her teeth, get ready for bed, or turn off the TV was a call to battle. The rage flashed in her eyes and a verbal negative gushed from her lungs. It was not a 'normal brat' response. Even a simple 'smile for the camera' could bring out the rage.
As would be expected, Ali's school work and social life have suffered. She has friends, but she also has been shunned and teased. Even her teacher went from being helpful and enthusiastic, to irritated and resigned. I feared that if something didn't happen to change this cycle that Ali would end up in the court system.
She has been seeing professionals and is on a new medication. I am feeling very positive about the effects. The phone call about texting came after the new medicine. Also, we have been working on some projects outside. I can now give her directions without ruining the day. Even if she is irritated by what she is asked to do (after all, she is still eleven), she doesn't spiral out of control.
I am hoping that by spending the summer in a relaxed farm environment, she can form new habits of response that will help her get off to a good start in Junior High. I know it was a hard decision for my daughter and her husband to put Ali on medication. This is not the first time however that they've made that choice. I'm glad they did. I now feel that Ali has a chance to be the person she really wants to be... And so far, she has been a delight!
Ali and I talk a lot about the things she feels concerning this disorder. I think it helps her to share her frustration and receive positive feedback. She is starting to feel she is not alone, and she IS normal. Normal people experience emotional problems. Normal people can have chemicals in their brains get out of whack. Her new relationships in Blogville have helped her to see that. People have been sharing their personal stories with her and it has made her feel like part of an elite group. Thank you all for taking time to make a little girl feel good about herself. I love you!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
I had a soccer game on Sunday. We lost and I had an injury during the game! I went to kick the ball and a girl kicked me and I did the splits. I had popped my knee but now I am okay . I was going to go to the e.r but I wanted to stay. Well, one more game and it is over! I had an idea for my team that we would go for ice cream because it was hot out. Well, since it was the other direction from where we were going we went home and got slushies! What a fun time!
Posted by Ali at 3:49 PM
I want to be a dentist when I grow up! My neighbor is a dentist but since I play soccer I practice outside A lot and he thinks I will be a famous soccer star in college. I mean I agree with him and I would love to be a famous soccer star but I would like to stick with being a dentist!
i want to be a dentist because they make A lot of money. I want to have enough money to pay bills and if I have a child I want to give it everything it needs without spoiling it! So if you're a dentist tell me about it so I know what it is like! Tell me if you like my blogs and I'll blog again!
Posted by Ali at 3:17 PM
Sunday, June 7, 2009
I have learned that even though I am bi-polar I can still accomplish things that normal people can accomplish. I thought because I am different I wouldn't be able to do things that normal people can. Like math is pretty easy for me and I thought it would be harder for me. I also thought that written language and social studies would be very hard just because I am different. I guess I had just thought wrong! Yeah well I use to think that until I realized that here I am going to junior high and just got through the fifth grade pretty easily! So this is what I have learned so far in my life! What have you learned in your life after you thought differently?